This past week and a half have been emotional, to say the least. When we knew God was calling us to move to Uganda, I sat down and wrote my fears on paper, needless to say God had an answer for every fear.
This week has been a week of facing your fears head on and trying to deal with them. To start, the night guard Emmanuel, called me to the back door to show me a snake the dogs had killed in the middle of the night, it was laying by the back door, yikes, now it was a tiny green snake about a foot long, but still a snake nonetheless. Now, keep in mind, every night all night, I would carry my flashlight with me and look for snakes and spiders on the floor as I would walk around the house. I has JUST quit this a week or so before. Needless to say, I am back to using my flashlight.
Two nights later, the power went off around midnight, I was still awake trying to go to sleep and heard scratching on a box, i quickly grabbed the flashlight, and sat there with the flashlight on the box, I refused to move the flashlight as I just KNEW it had to be a snake, or a rat. I hollered for Emma to turn on generator, and he came back to the window and informed 'mama' it would not start. It was still hot from earlier use. I wanted to cry!!!!! I was literally frozen in fear that it may be a snake. I asked Emma to come in through the baby room and please come see what was in my room. He entered my bedroom with the biggest stick i have ever seen, (comical now, wasnt then) he investigates and then starts chuckling, and says mama it isnt dangerous, and proceeds to show me some nondangerous, (according to him) bug in my box. I am living proof our fears make us look ridiculous!!!! I felt very stupid! It also once again left me longing for my husband instead of disturbing so many people with someting Randy would have taken care of.
Betty, the child we are adopting, was moaning and and whining, and I took her to clinic and she tested positive for malaria, I panicked!!!! After Clinton, and how sick he was I knew I was not ready for this. I cried, and prayed and cried. Betty has responded the best one could hope for with treatment. She seems to be back to her normal self. Praises to God!
I faced many fears this past week, and was reminded quite often to praise God even in the midst of the storms!!!
One of my favorite songs!
I also have fears that are trying to creep in that we will never get fully funded and I will have to keep living life without my husband every 4 months or so. I remind myself instantly to trust the One in control and if this is what God wants than I am not in position to question His reasons. I also try to remind myself not to be so selfish. I love my husband, and to share such a closeness that we do with each other, it is extremely hard to live without him. But knowing that he is creating a home here for children with no parents, let alone still taking care of his own children, just makes me love him even more. Knowing that my husband is a Godly enough man to sacrifice as he has for Him makes my heart soar. Please continue to pray for us as these last 32 days apart are becoming harder and harder with each passing day.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures upon the earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where theives do not break in or steal.
for where your treasure is, there will be your heart also.
Matthew 6: 19-21
No comments:
Post a Comment